One with Mother Nature

What ways are you spending time with Mother Earth?

I began sadhana with visions of going for long walks, wading in the lake at sunset, or throwing a sheet down upon the earth and just staring up into the trees for long, forgotten moments... but, what I'm actually doing is sitting in the porch swing, listening to and watching the wind blow through the leaves of these hundred foot pine and oak trees in my back yard... I'm watching the birds and dragonflies dart about... I'm watching the clouds and the light shift from bright to dark, from shadowed to light. I'm feeling the goddess within my own self merging with the energies all around me, as if helping me to get reacquainted with my soul tribe. I'm listening with my heart, to the secret language of trees. 

During this goddess sadhana, I've been finding that my inner goddess speaks more clearly while I'm sitting near the trees.... listening to the wind... just being in nature. And, while I'm speaking to goddess in quiet prayer, listening to all that comes through while in the presence of the divine, I'm overcome with an awareness of how magickal and wonderful the experience truly is! It's so beautiful, and the messages I receive are so profound, that I catch myself in every 'aha moment', feeling so excited by what I'm hearing that I can hardly stay present for want to interrupt my communion to record or share with you, and our sisterhood!

But SHE gently whispers in those restless moments, something akin to this: 

I love that you are enjoying our time together... I am, too. And, truly, I am honored that you recognize the beauty and remember the ancient wisdom we share in quiet conversation with one another... so much so that you desire to rush to share it with your sisters. But darling, do you not yet realize that you deserve to fully experience and enjoy our union? You are worthy of all that you are being given, even if it only ever remains between us! You are my beloved. You are my daughter. I love that you want to share all our goodness with others, but my precious, just rest in my arms awhile... Breathe with me. Surrender to the moment we share together. Shhhh.... Quiet your racing heart and realign with mine. Please. Be still a moment longer. Stay with me.

To which I think: 

Ooooh!! How easily I forget what's most important. How quickly I deny my own value. Why am I so willing to sacrifice my time with you, with the divine? What compels me to rush through my experiences of pleasure, communion, and wisdom, instead of savoring them? Why do I somehow feel obligated to pass all the gifts I am given along, before I have had ample time with them myself? Mother, please rock me, soothe me. Teach me to be still. As, I do cherish being with you... and I long to linger uninhibited by anything other. 

So I stay with HER a little longer... .I stay with Her and witness the most glorious unfolding and blossoming of spirit... I hear my inner goddess telling me just listen, you'll remember. Whispering that I don't need to hurry, I don't need to deny myself anything to be of service to others. I can allow myself this time. Yet, somehow, disappointingly so, when I finally come in to write of my experience, I cannot re-create a single cohesive thought, or statement of my experience!

There are no words. The experiences is like a dream. I know that I had it, and it was glorious, yet I cannot recapture a single detail....

Is it just too sacred to share?

Or, perhaps, it's like channeling, where unless 'recorded' or somehow captured as it flows... it's lost afterward to the passage of time... Lost and given freely to the collective wave - the Universal current of spirit being. This must be it. Because it's not of me, it's not coming from me, it's not mine; it's just a gift to experience in its ripeness and to honor in the moment of enjoyment. 

And, if I can share - I do, and do so joyfully! Yet, if not, I must learn to let it go... trusting in the flow.

Have you ever experienced this or something similar?

Later, I feel grounded, rooted like a strong, yet flexible tree. 

So many messages come through my branches, carried by various messengers... though I am not able to hold them, I'm only able to give them a place to alit for a brief moment in time. I must give them all to the wind, trusting it to carry to the far corners of the world where they belong. I am learning to store the memories and experiences within without attachment. Recording the experience in my body, deep in my roots. And, like the trees, trusting that I will be able to communicate all the wisdom I possess and have gathered through the ages of my life via my unseen roots... Believing that those around me, and those yet to come will receive them when they are ready, when their own roots to reach into the depths below the surface of knowing. This is how Mother Nature is teaching me humility, patience, honor; teaching me who I authentically am... and was born to be.

To be humble is to be grounded in knowing who you are. It implies the responsibility to become what you were meant to become—to grow, to reach, to fully bloom as high and strong and grand as you were created to be. It is not honorable for a tree to wilt and shrink and disappear. It’s not honorable for a woman to, either.

― Glennon Doyle Melton, Untamed

All this seems to have come about on the threshold of entering into the age of Crone. Perhaps entering CRONEHOOD is an initiation into the primordial tribe of trees. We are both the record keepers of great wisdom, yet, we no longer share outwardly as we once did. We are learning to hold our wisdom within. The more I connect (mingle) with Mother Nature - Gaia, the more I feel Her energy merging with mine. The more I feel Her energy and essence and wisdom in my body, the more rooted I feel. The more rooted I feel, the more grounded I become in the essence of who I am... And, I can actually feel and witness the ever so slow flow of energy filling my being to its height and depth, allowing me to grow and blossom in ways I was unaware of until the moment I am. The moment I become still and actually look within and remember who I am. 

I'm going to meditate on this and ask for more guidance... Perhaps, there is a connection between the Crone archetype and trees! I'd love to hear your experiences, feelings, thoughts. 

Lovingly,

Leesa, The Gypsy Priestess